Schmitt’s cathartic post about our beloved Luigi-boy reminded me that I have something that bothers me as well, and that writing about it will maybe help healing the wound that I dug myself. It’s not comparable to the loss of our kitty in any way, but I had to write down why I am currently not playing World of Warcraft.
In 2013 I played two MMOs. Guild Wars 2 and World of Warcraft. GW2 personally was full of disappointments for me and just not the kind of game I am looking for. WoW on the other hand got more love and attention from me than it had since WotLK. For the greatest part of the year I raided three times a week on my Death Knight Yatalai. I can honestly say that raids with Ashen Rose Conspiracy, my guild, are a joy. Smart people, great players, and above all fun. It was a great WoW year. Mists of Pandaria as a whole is an excellent expansion. But as I played it extensively, the end of expansion blues has settled in early. It came quite stealthily.
For starters, I can’t be excited for Warlords of Draenor yet. I don’t like the time jumping nonsense they have come up with lorewise. Everyone who knows me knows that orcs are my favorite race to play, but I tire of an expansion of killing more orcs. Trolls got old. Orcs get old. Surely there are other races that need some spotlight. We don’t need the noble savage trope and extend on it anymore. The biggest downer of WoD however is that there’s no release date, nor any beta news. My guild just cleared Siege of Orgrimmar. I guess we can do heroic modes now. There is no new content. I can’t stand Timeless Isle. I don’t know what to do with myself in WoW anymore that’s not stale. The expansion seems very very far away.
I have concerns about my class. Or rather, there are things I enjoy about playing a Death Knight, and things I don’t. One of the things I don’t enjoy are the two different playstyles and gearing priorities of Frost. I want one spec to have the same stat priority no matter if I want to play with two 1H weapons or one 2H weapon. Also, I don’t want to be utterly dependent on weapon drops. My preferred playstyle is dual-wield frost. I hate the melee dependency on weapons, and I know I am not the only one. I haven’t been able to play DW frost since early in Throne of Thunder. I entered Siege of Orgrimmar with a strength polearm from a heroic scenario. I got a 2H sword off Sha of Pride fairly early in Siege, and never got any other weapon drop. I feel locked in the very slow playstyle of 2H frost that isn’t even doing that great numbers-wise. I have to admit I am a meter-whore, and seeing myself slip every raid the more gear the others got was a total killjoy. Maybe I just suck and am losing my edge.
I tried to battle my DK ennui by leveling healers. I have a decently geared disc priest, but I finally had to admit to myself that disc is very much flavor of the month, or maybe flavor of the expansion to me. I like being a triage healer. I don’t like being an Atonement healer doing DPS for heals. So I switched to leveling a paladin, Yacoran. A male tauren paladin. I enjoy healing on him tremendously. Unfortunately, I also feel I am not very good at it. Something’s not clicking 100%. My first LFRs were discouraging, but then, healing meters don’t say anything in LFR where most healers spam everything they got out of sheer boredom. But I also didn’t manage to get Proving Grounds Gold with the paladin. I managed that as both disc and holy with the priest. But the biggest downside: my guild has a stable core of reliable and absolutely amazing healers. There’s always room for more DPS. There’s not more room for healers. At least not at the moment. This brings me to the greatest downside of MoP for me: you cannot really have endgame ready alts unless you are willing to do countless LFRs. You cannot have a second legendary cloak with the same premise. If you don’t enjoy countless LFRs, then Timeless Isle is your last stop, with no further room to advance. As Tzufit described it on Twitter, alting is dead. At least in a way where you can do endgame activities on multiple characters.
ARC always has a holiday raid break. On December 23, I last logged in, on my banker. Put up auctions, pondered doing LFR with the paladin but a voice in my head said ‘Fuck it’. I went crazy at the Steam sale, played lots of single-player games, didn’t log on. A month passed. Raid break was over. My guild got their first boss kill since tier 14 that I hadn’t been part of. My guild started working on Garrosh. Still, I didn’t feel like logging in. Eventually I sent an apology PM to the guild officers, because I had run off without a warning. Almost two months later now, I am actually petrified to log back in. The officers told me not to sweat it, and to come to alt flex raids with the paladin. I just don’t know yet. I miss the guild so much. When you raid with mostly the same 10-15 people for over a year, 2-3 times a week, people I actually met RL at the guild meeting in Cambridge, it’s tough suddenly not having them in my life anymore. Also, I feel terrible because my friend Ria from my former US guild came to play with me, and then I ran off. That was pretty uncool.
I expect I will fall back into that rabbit hole sometime, because I want to, but right now, it still doesn’t feel right. I missed the Garrosh kill. I am so thrilled and happy for the raiders in ARC, but at the same time I am so sad that I chose to not participate because I have issues. I am sad that I cannot enjoy my DK enough anymore, that being a top 3-4 DPS wasn’t enough for me for my personal pride.
And that’s why I am currently not playing WoW yet grieve about it.